When you stand in front of people knowing you are worthy, their attitude about you will change.

This is one of the deepest lessons I have learned in my life because it taught me that while love can be unconditional, you can't always expect it to be.

One of the most freeing moments of my existence were the words I told my first adoptive mom when she demanded I tell her I loved her.

"I have respect for you as a human being, but I will never love you." 

You see she thought that she deserved and earned my love BECAUSE she adopted me. Because without her I could be in her words "laying in a drainage ditch somewhere." And because of her assumption, she crowned herself my savior; to her owed her every ounce of my love, loyalty, and obedience.

I still hold the image of her face in my mind as she reacted to my words.

Pure.

Utter.

Shock.

Anger.

In her twisted way, I think she thought she loved me. That how she treated me was because she loved me. But again it was twisted. It took me years to fully accept that the abuse I endured was more about her demons than my faults as a child or young adult.

But standing there in that moment with her in the entryway of a house that was never a home another stone was added to my foundation that I would use to guide me. This would help me always give myself respect even when others wouldn't give it. It would help me respect others, even if we are on opposite sides a line drawn in the sand.